Brothers and sisters

Hello Michele. My name is Susanna, I am 25 and my brother Jacopo is 29.
Jacopo has Down’s Syndrome. I read your mail and I understand your doubts, also about the future relationship between Sofia and her sister. I want to tell you my story.
When I was born, Apo (that’s his nickname) was already 4. He was very jealous of me, and he’s been like this for many years. On the contrary, as I grew up I became very protective towards him. My mother told me that when I was 4 I used to reproach our neighbours’ daughters because they wouldn’t say hello to him.
I used to kick up an awful row by the front gate as I met them!
And I did the same to her. Once she spanked him and I started to scream: how dare you beat a handicapped child?!!? I was 5, and I had already understood that Apo was not normal, he was special.
My father left us, and that was tough for Apo. He sat on a chair by the door for 15 days waiting for him to return and burst into tears by the time he used to be back home.
He was 12, I was 8.
But then, of course, “mongoloids” do not have feelings, do they?!
My problems started when I went to secondary school.
I was ashamed of my brother, I hated to hear my schoolmates talk about how good their so-called normal brothers and sisters were.
I began not to put up with my brother anymore, I thought I hated him.
My recurrent thought was: if a boy knows I am the sister of a mongoloid, will he go out with me?
I also used to beat him, because of the anger I felt for him.
Meanwhile my mum had cancer.
Having no relatives, I had to take Jacopo to the gym, to the church etc.
He was always with me.
This crisis of mine lasted till I was 15.
A year later my mum died.
We were left alone, me and him.
By now Jacopo lives in a residential home, I live with my fiancée.
My mother left me some property, but the most precious inheritance is my brother Apo.
We meet regularly, he adores me, I adore him.
He is the only one for whom I would kill.
When I feel lonely, I think of him and I feel better.
He will always be there, he will always love me no matter what I shall do.
Now I am also his tutor. Nothing special about it…
Don’t worry about Sofia’s sister.
Maybe one day she’ll also be “ashamed” of her sister, but I guess adolescence is the age of stupidity (…so we say).
She will realise that she has a different, special sister, she will learn to love her because there is no other way.
Lots of love and kisses from me to Sofia.

Susanna
October 15th 2002

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